Phil Daniels

What, for you, epitomises the very essence of Englishness?

Industrious, never nosy; forthright, never rude; striking, never posing; complementary, never crude.

What is your idea of absolute heaven?

England winning the world cup at Wembley, me as manager standing there in my black Burberry mac a-la Anchelotti (except for the sacking bit).

And your idea of a hell on earth?

Birkenstocks with socks.

What three items of clothing would you rescue in the event of your wardrobe being invaded by a swarm of moths?

My 1960s mohair suit, my Burberry strides and Crombie.

Are you happy with the way in which modern society is heading, or do you see room for improvement in any particular areas?

Yes to both questions!

Where and when have you ever pined for the services of a good tailor?

When I was tied naked to a lamp-post on a chap's stag night.

What is your idea of a perfect English gentleman?

A geezer not afraid to use tweezers.

Can you name an example, living or deceased?

Not the hairy bikers...

And his female counterpart?

Jedward.

Have you ever considered the wearing of sportswear for any activity other than sport?

I often wear my leotard to the boozer.

Have you ever found it necessary or appropriate to wear a pair of flip-flops?

Find them impossible to wear with my webbed feet.

What item of clothing are you determined never to wear?

A smock and dungarees.

What type of facial hair do you think is suitable for a gentleman?

His own.