Pop Stars Show Vague Understanding of Dress

A pop group has received an award for their services to the record industry dressed entirely in hunting tweeds. The Arctic Monkeys, who are in fact human and hail from Sheffield, have always been known for their unorthodox approach to the music scene. They released their first single in a way that only young people would understand how to transfer to their computers, thus preventing men going through mid-life crises from listening to them.

This is the first time the Arctic Monkeys have actually shown up in person to receive one of their many awards, normally preferring to receive them via a satellite link. This led not only to increased record sales, but rumours that they did not actually exist.

The Chap can now reveal the Arctic Monkeys' reluctance to appear in public until this month. They were clearly waiting for their tailor to complete their tweed outfits, perhaps delayed by weather conditions between the Isle of Harris and the mainland, or perhaps by the usual altercations between client and tailor over such fripperies as turned-back cuffs and ticket pockets. "Gangster wrappers" should take note: if you are going to carry firearms about your person, this is how you should dress.