Your Porridge, Sir?

Prison officers have been told to knock politely on cell doors before entering, in a bid to improve prisoners' quality of life. The "decency agenda" was prompted by an official Government study of HM Prison Birmingham in Winson Green, where a similar scheme was imposed five years ago, in an effort to "improve the well-being of everyone in prison, staff and prisoners alike," said a Prison Service spokeswoman.

Now, instead of prisoners' surnames being barked out by sergeant-major types, prisoners are addressed by their Christian names. Older prisoners may be addressed as 'Mr' if they prefer. All new prison officers are now trained in the Decency Agenda, which includes this requirement.

But the "decency agenda" has not met with universal approval. Shadow minister for Birmingham, Andrew Mitchell, said: "It sounds as if the Department of Justice will have the prison officers dressed in a butler's uniform, serving breakfast to inmates on a silver tray before long." Cynics have raised concerns that the delay caused by knocking on cell doors will allow prisoners at the Category B prison to hide drugs, mobile phones or other forbidden objects. These critics clearly have no faith in the redemptive power of human kindness, and have certainly never seen The Shawshank Redemption.