SEBASTIAN HORSLEY

 
Poet, artist, dandy, raconteur, aesthete ... Sebastian Horsley is all of these, as well as being extremely decorative, morally outrageous and sexually ambiguous. The Chap celebrates the existence of such Sebastians, who still occasionally shine in a society composed of caramel-coloured harlots and men without hats. Mr Horsley follows both Mr Wilde's dictum (one should either be a work of art or wear a work of art) and Mr Larkin's (They f**k you up, your mum and dad). He is, in short, a libertine.

 

  
What is your idea of complete sophistication?
Complete vulgarity. The vulgar man is always the most sophisticated, for the very desire to be sophisticated is vulgar. And without an element of vulgarity no man can beome a work of art.

Who, in your opinion, is or was the quintessential English gentleman?
HRL, His Royal Lowness – Satan.

And the quintessential lady?
In my romantic view a woman may be a prostitute and she may be a destitute but she can never be less than a lady.

Where do you think the best-dressed people are?
In my flat. It is a lighthouse for losers. They get off at Dover and make their way over.

Name three favourite items in your personal wardrobe.
Me, my make-up, my mirror.

Which accessories would you never venture into polite society without?
My sin, my suit, my squaw.

What single situation has been the greatest challenge to your wardrobe and your personal grooming skills?
Being crucified in the Phillippines in August 2000. Nudity is a threat to my existence. There I was - the raw material, the unpainted Sebastian, in skimpy loincloth. A stylist's Armageddon. Jesus was wrong by the way. It is better to go to Hell well-tailored than to Heaven in rags.

Which aspects of contemporary life do you think are most prohibitive of a gentlemanly lifestyle?
All of it. I find everyday life quite hard. It is very difficult to walk with wings. Even if they are made of tinsel. But especially love. It makes the world go round looking so dowdy. And equality. Glamour is, of course, a greater asset than equality.

What items of clothing do you consider to be the height of vulgarity?
Our natural skins. The trainer - surely the ugliest species of footwear ever devised by man. The baseball cap - a symbol of man's inhumanity to man (and worn backwards like their brains). And Denim. There are only two actions I cannot tolerate. The first is denim. The other is murder. If denim is not wrong, nothing is wrong.

How do you think young people can be prevented from becoming bad mannered, sportswear-clad ruffians?
The young actually spend a lot of money in order to look cheap. But I welcome them really. We can't all be stars, because someone has to sit on the kerb and clap as I go by.