Our musical department contains a modest sheaf of long playing albums by a carefully-selected group of artists, who take the best of earlier musical styles and throw in a few frills and furbelows of the modern musical idiom. Alright, they are mostly by Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer, but who else gets a Chap’s toes a-tappin’ quite so elegantly?
In the latest longplayer from our artist of the decade (but not this decade), Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer takes on a slightly different guise as The Gentleman Selector, and proceeds to “select” (or “play”) certain tunes that come under the banner of “Chapstep Volume One” – all of which turn out to be composed, or at least performed, by Mr. B himself? Confused? At least it isn’t 1990 and you’re in a club in Manchester with questionable narcotics in your belly. Or are you?
Can’t Stop, Shan’t Stop
Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer’s 2013 offering showcased both his splendid new spectacles (not as architectural as the old ones) and a sheaf of new songs in which he managed to ridicule hip-hop’s obsession with trainers, Chaps’ obsession with brogues, Ladies who have friends they hate, It Doesn’t Pay to Turn up Late to an Orgy, Brushed Tweed in the Hour of Chaos and Rude Britannia. This album displays more of the auteur side of Mr. B and more of his ukulele virtuosity.
The Tweed Album
Mr. B proved his critics wrong, by producing a third album that wasn’t difficult at all, at least not to listen to. If anything, the Tweed Album reiterates some of Mr. B’s deeper concerns, such as how politely to decline the offer of ungentlemanly narcotics, the fact that they don’t allow rappers in the Bullingdon Club and the fact that Mr. B himself invented hip-hop. This album features more clever lyrical curlicues than the previous two and is one for the thinking chaps.
The first two longplayers by Mr. B are no longer available, for mysterious reasons that only his enormous legal team know about. However, they allowed him to release this compilation album, featuring the best ditties from “Flattery Not Included” and “I Say”. The former was his debut and some might say most hip-hoppy offering, while the second (still a few rare copies available from below, by the by) taking the listener on a magical journey into the heart of acid house, via George Formby, Terry-Thomas and Champagne Charlie.
The second long player from Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer is not available anywhere else in the world. This album opens with his seminal tribute to this organ, “Hail The Chap!” and then touches on matters not usually of importance to hip-hop musicians, such as Lord Byron, Shooting one’s cuffs, the misery of paid employment and Guy Debord, founder of the Situationist International. Grab the last copies while you can, gentlemen!
Our Lovely Day
The solo album from silky-voiced siren Patricia Hammond, who wowed the audience at 2012′s Grand Anarcho-Dandyist Ball with Albert Ball’s Flying Aces. Some of the songs on Our Lovely Day are by the great songwriters of the early 20th Century, such as Ivor Novello and Irving Berlin, while others are more obscure songs that Miss Hammond discovered while rummaging about old sheet music shops. For those who wish to relive the heady night of December 1st, or those who wish to appreciate the lovely songs of the Golden Era of songwriting delivered by a true virtuoso, this is the album for you.
The 77th edition of The Chap delves beyond the green baize door for a food & drink special. Contents include: More...
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